But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things, there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit” (Gal. 5:22-23).
This worship program is intended to provide a space for contemplative prayer and meditation. The décor should be simple and undistracting. The video at the beginning can seem like quite an odd choice to begin a meeting focused on contemplative prayer and meditation. Still, it is meant to capture the women’s attention after a time of fellowship and greeting. As the meeting progresses, you may want to slow things down a bit, speak a little softer, and you can dim the lights. One candle lit in the center of the room can serve as a reminder of the presence of the Holy Spirit.
Self-Control
A few years ago, videos were cropping up all over the internet with the #kidscandychallenge. The idea is that parents would put a treat in front of their small children with the instructions that they may not eat the treat until the parent returns and tells them it’s ok. The parent leaves the room, and a struggle ensues.
Watch for a few minutes to see how the children handle it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BQvUsqB-6eU
Self-control is not an easy thing! Paul says in Romans 7: 15-20, “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do, I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me. For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good, I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now, if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.” Paul’s will was not enough to overcome the temptation and sin in his life. I think that if we examine our own lives, we can agree with Paul.
So, what are we to do? We can let the Holy Spirit help us. Galatians 5:7 says, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things, there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.”
This is great news. When our will fails, if we have allowed the Holy Spirit to take up residence in our lives and work in and through us, self-control is one of the fruits of that partnership. We enter that partnership by daily choosing to interact with the Holy Spirit and intentionally partnering with Him with the end goal of transformation. That might seem to be a lot of words and an overwhelming concept, but as the old saying goes … how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.
Choosing to practice various spiritual disciplines can help you to be attentive to the moving of the Holy Spirit and your spirit. Spiritual disciplines are those daily practices that we put into place that lead us to a place where we can work with the Holy Spirit with the goal of transformation.
There are a lot of different spiritual disciplines. If you are interested in exploring more about the spiritual disciplines. I recommend reading “Celebration of Disciplines” by Richard Foster and “Spiritual Disciplines Handbook: Practices that Transform Us” by Adele Ahlberg Calhoun.
Today we will look at a couple of different spiritual disciplines that can lead us to the spiritual fruit of self-control; the prayer of examen and creating a Rule of Life.
Prayer of Examen
The Prayer of Examen is a contemplative prayer time in which you and the Holy Spirit review your day together. St. Ignatius established this prayer practice. This does not have to be a complicated process or even take a lot of time.
The Soul Care Urban Retreat Center outlines these steps to practice the Prayer of Examen:
- Become aware of God’s presence. Look back on the events of the day. Even if your day seems to be a blur, a jumble, a muddle, ask the Lord to bring clarity and understanding.
- Review the day with gratitude. Gratitude is the foundation of our relationship with God. Walk through your day and note the joys and delights. Focus on the day’s gifts. Look at the work you did and the people you interacted with. What did you receive from these people? What did you give them? Pay attention to small things—the food you ate, the sights you saw, and other seemingly small pleasures. God is in the details.
- Pay attention to your emotions. One of St. Ignatius’s great insights was that we detect the presence of the Divine in the movements of our emotions. Reflect on the feelings you experienced during the day. Boredom? Elation? Resentment? Compassion? Anger? Confidence? What is God saying through these feelings?
- You may be shown and remember some ways that you fell short. Make a note of these times but look deeply for other implications. Does a feeling of frustration perhaps mean that God wants you to consider a new direction in some area of your work? Are you concerned about a friend? Maybe you should reach out in some way.
- Choose one feature of the day and pray about it. Ask the Lord to direct you to something during the day that is particularly important. It may involve a feeling—positive or negative. It may be a significant encounter with another person or a vivid moment of pleasure or peace. Or it may be something that seems relatively insignificant. Look at it. Pray about it. Allow the prayer to arise spontaneously from your heart—whether intercession, praise, repentance, or gratitude.
- Look toward tomorrow. Ask God to give you a light for tomorrow’s challenges. Pay attention to the feelings that surface as you survey what’s coming up. Are you doubtful? Cheerful? Apprehensive? Full of delighted anticipation? Allow these feelings to turn into prayer. Seek guidance from the Lord. Ask for help and understanding. Pray for hope.
That can be a lot to remember, but there are different prayer apps available that will walk you through a Prayer of Examen. https://www.experiencesoulcare.com/2020/5-steps-of-the-examen/
Pray as You Go is a free app with various prayers, including the Prayer of Examen.
https://pray-as-you-go.org/retreat/examen-prayer-review-your-day
At this point, you may walk them through the Prayer of Examen yourself or use an app to walk through this exercise.
Rule of Life
A Rule of Life is how we want to order our lives to present to God and be open to the transformation of the Holy Spirit. Your Rule of Life should work in conjunction with your natural rhythms of life. This is not a complete overhaul of your life and schedule.
The format of your Rule of Life can be what you want it to be. The website https://ruleoflife.com/myrule/ is a fantastic resource for creating your Rule of Life. There are two worksheets that you can print to begin crafting your personal Rule of Life. Once you have done that, you can put it in a format that serves you best. It can be a document with bullet points, written in narrative form, or something more visual. The Rule of Life website has lots of examples. Remember, your Rule of Life is just that it’s YOUR Rule of Life. As you grow and change, don’t be afraid to update it.
Closing Prayer: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, the cry of our hearts are to be transformed into the fullness of whom You have created us to be. We recognize that self-control is necessary for transformation. But just like Paul, we struggle, we want to do what is right and good, and yet we find ourselves falling prey to temptation and sin. Holy Spirit comes and is present in our lives. We welcome Your presence and transformation that will result in the spiritual fruit of self-control, creating more space for change. Help us to continue to seek You and dig deep. Thank you that in Your gracious goodness, You don’t leave us to struggle alone. You give Yourself to us. Your love is deep and wide and transformational. We yield ourselves to Your love. Amen.
